初次SP實踐之前要注意什麼呢? Things to Notice Before First Spanking

作者:Horneypet Butthamster, The Ties That Bind.

上個月的BDSDM同樂會朋友介紹了一位想體驗SP(打屁屁)的新手。看起來就跟大部份的新手一樣,幻想很久,靦腆而期待,躍躍欲試卻對實踐的細節理所當然地沒有概念。(攤手)

A friend introduced me and my owners to a newbie who wanted to try spanking at the BDSDM uniform party last month. Just like almost every newbie, this one has been fantasizing this for so long. Shy but excited, they are eager to try yet have no idea what would happen at all.

首先,非常感謝朋友的信任,任何事情老手帶新手體驗是很正常的,但我仍然希望各位新手們在想像跟緊張之餘,可以多花點時間想想「底線之外的事」,畢竟是自己的身體跟心靈,不是沒有壞掉就沒關係啊!

I would like to thank my friend for trusting me and my owners. It is normal that people with more experience should guide new comers to experience in any field. However, I still hope that everyone who is new to spanking (and new to the BDSM scene) can spend some time thinking about “things beyond the hard limits” in addition to being nervous and fantasizing. After all, it’s your own body and mental health. You should care more about that!

1. 打屁股在「揍人」跟「挨揍」以外,還有更多學問!Spanking is more than just “spanking” and “being spanked”!

對於打屁股實踐的思考僅止於多用力打人跟自己多耐痛是不足夠的。不論主動方還是被動方,或許都嘗試過自己打自己,但很想知道打人跟被打是什麼樣的感覺。被動方在實踐時也會想要探探自己的底線。事實上,還有更多需要被考慮的面向!

It is not enough to just think about how hard you spank or how much you can take during spanking. Both spankers and spankees may have tried to spank themselves, but still want to know what it feels like to really spank someone or get spanked. The spankees also might want to know where their limits is during spanking. In fact, there are several more aspects to be considered!

工具的種類(條、鞭、尺、拍等等)、材質(密度、硬度)甚至是形狀跟加工程度,在使用的方式跟帶來的痛感都會有所不同。這也是工具多樣性吸引人的地方。甚至,打在不同的部位感受也會不一樣!有經驗的主動通常會在實踐前安排不同工具的使用順序,而被動則會發展出對特定工具與的偏好,瞭解自己對於不同工具的感受。

How to use a tool and the feeling it brings are decided by its type (strap, whip, stick, or paddle, etc), material (density and hardness), shape and even how it is processed. This is also why the diversity of spanking tools is so fascinating. Moreover, different parts of body feels differently to spanking! Usually an experienced spanker arranges different tools in order from light to heavy before a session, while a spankee develops their preference of specific tools through understanding their feelings about various tools.

耐受度因人而異,而一個人的耐受度也因情緒、身體狀況以及流程節奏等等而改變。最理想的打屁股「體驗」應該要先用手掌或是較輕的工具熱臀,類似運動前熱身的概念,痛感慢慢累積上去,耐受度也會增加不少。主動方要能適當地控制節奏,輕重緩急與停頓,讓被動方有時間去思考感受、喘息與回復。

Tolerance varies from person to person, and one’s tolerance is affected by mood, body condition, and the spanking rhythm, etc. The most ideal spanking “first experience” should start with a warm-up by hand spanking or lighter tools. Similar to a warm-up before exercising, it increases your tolerance as the pain increases. The spanker should control the rhythm appropriately. Strength, speed and pauses should be considered so that the spankee is allowed to think about their feelings, take a breath and recover.

每個人喜歡打屁股的原因不同。有些人認為打屁股在痛以外更重要的是「感官刺激」,工具滑過肌膚表面的冰涼、光滑、搔癢;擊打的刺痛、鈍痛、深與淺;要打不打的緊張感與調戲;或是對主動方看見被動方掙扎的視覺享受⋯⋯都是在打與挨打之外,實踐者能體會到的。

Everyone likes spanking for different reasons. Some think “sensation play” is more important than giving or receiving pain. The cold or smooth or tickling texture as spanking tools slide against the skin; sharp or dull pain, deep or shallow of the strike; teasing and the excitement of it; or the visual pleasure of watching the spankee squirming……These are the delight we feel beyond giving or receiving spanking.

以第一次的體驗來說,個人會希望比較有經驗的那一方能在過程中解釋不同工具以及在不同部位帶來的感受,或是使用方式,讓體驗的人知道自己在做什麼,應該要去注意什麼細節,有時間去評估自己喜歡或是不喜歡。當然,前幾次實踐或許還不能決定喜好,但是對思考與感受是有幫助的。

When it comes to the first spanking experience, I expect that the one with more experience be able to explain the pain that different tools bring on different body parts, or how different tools should be used. In this way the newbie will know what they are doing, what details should be concerned, and be given time to assess if they like it or not. Of course, sometimes we aren’t able to decide our preference in the first few sessions, but these are sure to help you think and feel.

2. 事前協調 Negotiation and Communication Before Play

基本上要瞭解以下幾個重點。

  1. 對方的經驗:評估要如何進行與引導
  2. 想嘗試的工具或姿勢:每個人偏好的工具與姿勢不同
  3. 討論安全詞:除了安全詞以外,也要不斷詢問對方的感受
  4. 是否脫褲子:脫褲子能讓主動直接看到屁股的狀況,但也不勉強,不想脫可以拒絕!
  5. 詢問告知身體狀況:是否對特定材質過敏/精神狀況/特殊身體狀況等,以應付緊急事件
  6. 新手有權提出想要的實踐流程:階段性的、片段性的嘗試,例如每五下休息討論,思考一下感受。

Basically what you need to know/discuss is as the followings.

  1. Each other’s experience. This helps you decide how to play and guide.
  2. What tools or positions you would like to try. Everyone has different preference.
  3. Safeword. In addition, you should check your partner’s feelings frequently.
  4. Pants/Panties on or off? It’s easier to observe the spankee’s skin condition with pants off, but if the spankee wants their pants on, please respect their decision!
  5. Special health condition, mental condition, allergy to specific materials (wood,leather, etc). Just for your safety when emergency happens.
  6. The newbie has the right to offer the preferred process. Separate the session into short parts. For example, take a pause after every 5 spank to think and discuss your feelings.

3. 反應 Reaction During Play

對主動來說,被動的身體與叫聲反應是很重要的觀察項目。所以在第一次打屁股的過程中,被動方不要勉強或是硬撐。可以隨時反應自己的感受,或是隨時詢問調整力道跟節奏。很多新手會想要在第一次體驗測試自己的極限,但我建議等到清楚自己對工具的偏好跟感受之後,再來做這件事,耐受度也會提升。另外,只要感覺到不舒服,是可以立即喊暫停的,不要害羞!

To a spanker, reactions of the spankee are very important indication of their condition. Therefore, it is unnecessary for a spankee to force themselves to endure too much pain. It is okay to reflect your feelings, or ask for adjustment at anytime. Many spankees like to test their limits at the first spanking, but I suggest that you should wait until you are familiar with your reactions and preference for different tools. This also helps your tolerance. Last but not least, the session should pause as soon as anyone (either the spanker or the spankee) feels uncomfortable. Don’t be shy to call a pause!

4. 事後回饋 Aftercare and Feedback

一場打屁股結束之後,可以依雙方需求給點鼓勵。鼓勵的形式可能是擁抱,可能是跟對方說「剛剛很舒服,謝謝你」/「你做得很好」之類的,我們稱這個叫作「呼呼」。主動方可以叮嚀被動方回家之後擦乳液或是藥膏,讓屁股的復原速度加快,冰敷之後熱敷也可以讓瘀青早一點消掉。第一次實踐的被動方可以觀察這一次打屁股造成的傷害,還有自己的復原速度,作為下一次的參考。也別忘記互相回饋感受或心得,S與M是要一起成長的。

After a spanking session, it is always nice to give each other some compliments/encouragement, depending on their needs. It could be giving hugs, or tell them that they did well during spanking. We call this “aftercare”. The spanker can remind the spankee to do some butt-care at home. The spankee can observe the bruises and how long it takes to recover. And don’t forget to give feedback and share afterthoughts. The top and the bottom should grow and learn together.

在這邊也推薦一個好站「SP新手村」,讓新手們在嘗試實踐之前有更完整的概念!

附註:感謝Wendy大大補充熱臀

補充一下關於「熱臀」。有些人會以為熱臀的目的是「把屁股加溫」,但其實熱臀的目的是透過規律、但盡可能不要消耗皮膚戰力的方式,讓被動產生一定程度的腦內啡,好來迎接往後更劇烈的拍打,同時也是主動自己對於力量和準確度掌控的熱身,並不是為了把屁股加溫才做的,不然放條熱毛巾在屁股上就好啦!

提到腦內啡的話,雖然大部分的人都會偏好依循漸進,依循漸進也比較安全不容易引起糾紛,但是也有人是希望不要有腦內啡的,像是戀痛的人,本身的目的是疼痛,而不是什麼舒服的痛,這時候熱臀可能對他們來說就不是那麼重要。總之,實踐是需要根據每個人不同而稍加改變客製化的!

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